Side effects

Here I am, feeling like writing something but don’t have any thing to write, did some doodling but not satisfied… how weird are those moments… it's just like there is some one else inside me want to tell me something or express something to me but can't reach my conscious for some reason!
Two minutes ago I was going through my stuff, searching for a pen and a piece of paper like an addict craving for her fix… but my brain is getting blank.
Something feels weird about my room; it smells like a doctor office! I think it's because of the meds and all the Ethanol stuff next to the lamp. I swear I can see them having a dancing party getting ready for my immune system's white flag that will rise very soon.

I have a love-hate relationship with diets, like I hate spending time in the kitchen making cabbage soup, calculating calories and worrying about not having enough proteins, I feel really sad over my self getting excited about the fact that I will have a non-law-fat cereals with skimmed milk this morning because I ran out of the law-fat one.
But at the same time, I love those glorious moments when I loose sizes…But most importantly, those moments of feeling high on the low blood-sugar. The feeling of carelessness. A painless existence of me… staring at the cover of the book I'm holding and thinking of…

nothing

Not all side effects are bad; sometimes they are good, some times they are needed if you look closely in'em!