To be

To be a total freak and happy about it, to do a silly dance in the middle of a class and let every one involved in it, to paint my nails in different (difficult to remove) colors and pursuit him to let me paint his. To shout joyfully or furiously whenever looking out of a new window, to cry hilariously in airports and do some group singing healing, to put an to-do list for 30 times (with colors and cool drawings), and then put them where they belong – trash of course-, to never be satisfied enough, to always try to make small stones doing small jumps on the lake and to always fail to, to pitch about life all the time, to feel a chronic pain whenever visiting a governmental institution yet to enjoy the view of an alive-dead Damascus from the roof of the city council, to paint my closet whenever I feel down.

to regret and to make spontaneous films with friends, to Sarooja, to Argeeleh, to miss charlotte’s coffee, to wear the silliest funkiest dress ever to a “fancy” restaurant, to come up with spontaneous trips, pack and go, to hate sleeping and then to hate waking up, to have my eyebrow up in an amazed position lots of times – I don’t know why, a childhood doohickey-, to always complete assignments perfectly on the last minute, to be able to smell months and...to fall again and again and again and stand up again and again…

To be me and to be alive and to realize both facts through weird freaky moments of staring at the mirror, it's weird how we sometimes forget about those two essential facts!

and after realizing I know that