It just sounds meaningless, standing from the above observing, all those feelings of joy and despair. We all are made of dreams, fragile and yet extremely powerful. I am a God and so you are and so is everyone passing by, we are Gods trying to understand and trying desperately to be understood, to be heard and to just ... be in control.
Today I was standing on a high cliff, enjoying a spectacular view of the city, and just then and for a moment; I felt an urge to jump. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wanna commit suicide, not in my future plans anyway, but this... this mixed feeling of fear and courage, fear of fatality yet the strong powerful urge to be in control of my own existence, of my being and the world around.
On my way back home, a man-taxi-driver wanted to pass my car, there was no way I’m gonna let him do it. He had no right to do that in a crowded narrow street while we both are equally driving on the same speed. He was furious, he shouted things about women and driving, I couldn’t hear him very well, my window was closed and Oasis were loud enough to stop the noise from the outside. That taxi driver was in need to control, to rule in his world which he thought he owned, a sick “male- domination” world, where he can controls easily for the merely privilege of having testosterone running with his blood.
Salma, a 30 years old girl diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy since she was 2 years old, she is a patient at the homecare, she’s lived there since then and with the lack of awareness, resources and care toward such cases, she was never educated or experienced the life out there, outside the homecare walls. She stays in that room with 4 other children and watches T.V all day long. Salma has learned more than anyone expected from her to learn. When someone stops by her bed, he must lower his voice because “Loloo” her daughter – a toy made of fabric” is sleeping next to her. She’s creating her own world where she’s in a total control. She is a gorgeous mother with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
Somer, a 12 years old, Iraqi refugee child, never been in School since he fled Iraq 5 years ago, he collected 75 S.P to buy a red pen and a note book, he wants to write his diaries, wanting to be in control of the past as he is incapable of being in control his future.
Sarah, a friend of mine, since she bought her new camera, never spent an evening at home, she loves taking photos of her daily life routine, capturing the moment, controlling time.
We all have our own tiny ways of keeping in control, for things that mean to us. We all are Gods in so many different ways. We created religions, systems, dreams, fears and memories... and we keep building and keep destroying.
Who am I?
- Dania
- Damascus, Syria
- Lost and Found, every day and every secound... Thats all I know, if you know more then let me know so I know that some one knows, you know.
Morals in Belfast
West Belfast
I.Heart.Graffiti
Global Xchange
10 comments:
اثناء تجوالى بذاك الخضم جوجل.. عثرت على مدونتك الجميلة.. التى تحوى فى طياتها مشاهد و كلمات تعبر عن انسانة جميلة صادقة
ولتدويناتك الجميلة ارفع قبعتى
ولك منى كل التحية...
This is original and thought provoking
It is true humans often try to imitate God when ever they have power or control, but this often leads to bad decisions and outcomes because often a human with power and control becomes arrogant, irrational, and lack compassion and wisdom.
The Kings think they are Gods, the crown on their heads is like a holly Halo, they send thousands of people to death…
How many Suicides have taken place for trivial irrational reasons
Some men act like God with women, when some women have a better brain and talents than many men.
Those who have no powers of kings, make up a toy, write or read superman stories and dream of having a supervision, some beat their poor dog or donkey for no reason but to “control”, even the children make fun of and abuse the mentally challenged and weak.
It must be some type of Control Complex like Freud’s Oedipus complex.
Of course the best way to practice and enjoy control is by trying to stop or change evil things done by people much bigger and more powerful than us, like Malcolm X standing up against the mighty US government, or Mother Teresa challenging and endless sea of poverty…
http://needlenose.com/i/swopa/MalikiBushShoe.jpg
We need control, and we need to be in control. Even if we are chaotic and love chaos, we want it to be in a controlled fashion.
How much control is how much of a God complex we have - it's a strange world that we're trying to understand
Perhaps, if one was to turn his eyes unto what lays within his own grasp, he'd find that existence in his eternal flowing resembles waters fleeting through the sands; and if one was to attempt to capture his own self, he'd find that it is but water seeping through the fingers of his closing hand.
Perhaps, in the end, control is an illusion, and it is from this "pain" that our eyes assert their ability to pierce through the darkness that we are.
Meaning is what meaning strives against. We are the becoming before we are the being, but it is the illusion of control that inverts our comprehension, i.e. reason must learn to cease its tyranny.
@Shymaa, Thank you so much, your comment means alot to me. best wishes :)
@Salam, Thank you!
it's not that we humans try to imitate god, to me somehow we created God, so we're imitating our own creation of control.
of course, those control maniacs are drivin by much more dark means and intention than control, it's not just that crazy king's fault, sometimes, and I mean sometimes, it's those followers' fault who are drivin by their own means to control, so its a hollow circle.
btw, where is your blog that you've promised to start?? ;)
@KJ, So true, and sometimes chaos is somehow a tend to be in control for the nonexistence of system or order. God complex usually increases in most controlled places by God like systems ;)
@wineofwisdom, it is an illusion, at least according to our lack of ability to control the movement of earth, it is peace that we create within ourselves that creates satisfaction, and we don't need to control any more, cause we realise that we are in a total control, we are Gods in every way.
I'm always stunned with your words that taste of a Maloula's fine wine
Even without a Blog my big mouth often offend others, and get me in trouble, so I am subconsciously content with my laziness and Procrastination ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrastination
Well, I do not think it is merely the problem of control, rather, in the light of our being socially "enhanced" and constructed, we do not own ourselves, we are not who we are, and as such, the problem becomes one of "becoming who we are," as Nietzsche puts it. Life is not simply what I make of it since what I make, is not conditioned by my own opinions. My opinions themselves are the result of social upbringing and infinite other factors.
On this Schopenhauer said: One may get what he wants, but he cannot want what he wants.
I have here reflected on the subject:
http://wineofwisdom.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/nature-or-nurture/
From an existential perspective, I believe it is impotence and not control that underlies our condition. Under the light of impotence shines all true nobility, like that of the Bushido fighter who realizing his impending death in battle, nonetheless goes through it bravely up until his very-end. After his death, the battle is found dancing upon his death.
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