Hijab and the thin line between prejudice and tolerance

There is a thin line between hypocrisy and standing for personal freedoms or let’s say between prejudice and tolerance.
I do understand that due to the general practice of forcing religions and religious behavior into an oppressed society which is seeking its way out of an internal fear culture and external existential threat by clutching into religions and all types of the to-go set of rules… I do understand how easy it is to be drifted into prejudice when it comes to “hijab”.

A girl with hijab is either an oppressed, ignorant, submissive girl. Or a good girl with good morals and a potential tool to save the doomed society to the “heaven of Islamic Imara”…! A girl with hijab is forced to wear it, a girl with hijab is a brain-less pitch who could just jump into prostitution due to sexual oppression, a girl with hijab has limited freedom, a girl with hijab is an uncivilized prospect in societies, a girl with hijab is …. And the list won’t end.
It’s like this girl is packed into different shapes and is ready to be sold out in the supermarket for public -so-called-intellectuals and scholars to be bent into any shape they wish.

And the same goes if we tried to scan the public prejudices of girls with mini-skirts.

What I want to say inhere is very clear: whether if I wear hijab or I walk naked in the street, I should not be subjective to your prejudice in any form.

I am generalizing in here, and I understand how it is difficult to be perfectly spotless from all this madness around.

And I realize that it’s not that simple. To talk specifically about hijab. It’s way more complicated. There is a big percentage of girls who are some how forced to wear it, it could be the fear of your judgment that forced her into wearing it. And at the same time there is a big percentage of girls who took hijab off or didn’t wear it even though that they wanted to in order not to be subjective to your judgment or to the lack of good employment.

You can have your own opinion about it, you may refuse the idea or hate it, and you may think that it’s unnatural for a human being to cover her /his head, you may even find it as a tool to consider women as sexual targets, there are a lot of those ideas I do agree with. But I also do respect the free choice any girl does take to put hijab on or to take it off, I do respect if the girl considers it as a symbol, as a practice of her believe or even as an expression of identity.

Personally speaking, as some one whose believe system is constantly messed up, that got me to wear hijab some time before then deciding to take it off, as some one who went from believing to atheism to Islam to agnosticism and maybe to Buddhism or to “I don’t give a shit”.. I was discriminated against by some of those who consider themselves “intellectuals” by those who call themselves as “anti-discrimination” activist… I used to try to justify myself till I realized that I don’t have to…



So, let’s when calling for freedom of expression to call for the principle itself and not for a set of rules that might abuse the very principles we are calling for.

Cheers all.

So, Penguins can fly!

So, Penguins can fly. I would be surprised and disappointment if some one proved me wrong.

On my way to Heathrow, I was looking every where for this… the prejudice, the hostility, the paranoia… and the fear.
I smelled it all around. But nothing was directed at me though.

I read three pages and kept stuffing my mouth with these sweet rounded thingies which led me to one conclusion: “maltesers” is the best traveler’s companion ever!

Never mind this madness; I thought I was drunk, but I'm sure I wasn’t! I got drunk only 4 times in my life, the last time wasn’t as “fascinating” as the first … I truly felt so clear minded and balanced.

I need to find an internship program A.S.A.P; for the sanity of all people around.
I need to find a decent job A.S.A.P for the almost zero balance in my account.
I need to hug him A.S.A.P for the sanity of reality and passion.
I need to have some coffee.
I need to start working on the hundreds of projects I’m still keeping as drafts.
I need to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow to catch my trip back to Damascus.
I need to paint my closet and my toes.
I need to run till I get to really breathe the life in.
I want to work in a bakery one day with my fake grandmother.
I need to tell Beirut how much I love her.
I need to scream for no Particular reason.


So, where were we?

Yeah, Penguins… 3 days a go a cute penguin knocked on my window, woke me up with the most adorable smile ever, I smiled back, and he flew away.
I called a friend and asked him if we could use the help of Penguins to end the financial crisis. after a long debate we reached a conclusion that they could... big time!


It’s good!

An Identity Crisis, Wrong time and Wrong place

Yesterday in the bus:
Lights were dim and so was the existence of every one around, trying to read George Orwell’s 1984… but it was too hot and too dark.


got off, met them, felt so sick but managed to stand there... laid my head back to the wall, paralyzed even to get my cell phone which was screaming inside my backbag.
He kept victimizing himself… and I kept silent, unable to hear him and unwilling to notice his existence…

An identity crisis, at the wrong time and wrong place…



2 days ago:
With Pete, Standing on Qasyoun overlooking Damascus, feeling so small and so existed:

“You know… I have a love-hate relationship with this city”.

Guilt…for loathing the society. Appreciation to love, history and diversity… hating the crowd.
Disgust, worship, anger, love…and guilt… lots of guilt, all at once.
It’s confusing.

An identity crisis, at the wrong time and wrong place…



But it’s ok, I will be fine… someday I will understand and maybe I won’t but it’s ok, I might wouldn’t have want to. It’s weird, but it’s ok, it has never made sense.

We break through and get locked in over and over and over, and nothing is as painful as getting locked outside you. Alienating yourself away… you breath inside out and get dressed outside in.

You think hard on how to stop yourself thinking and when you think you are able to be in the state of comfort, you just break down into tremendous pieces that you never thought they lived in you. You throw up diamonds but it cut your throat and you’re not able to explain, not even to yourself, you are voiceless and dazed…

I am not angry, I am not falling apart, I am not even sad…and I don’t understand a word of what I’m writing… but I’ve just realized, I don’t have to…
And I am not in denial… but I’m just confused… and I need to go for a walk.